I feel like a complete failure.

I’m at such a low point in my life right now; I’m having trouble finding the energy to do anything but complain and feel sorry for myself. I resigned from my job at the hospital on February 17 and moved back to Louisiana to live with my parents because I missed being home. I’ve sent in applications to quite a few different places, and I still have yet to find a job I want that suits me and my degree. Feelings of being incompetent and worthless have really clouded my mind this past week to the point where I feel absolutely hopeless.

These past few weeks aside from job hunting at working at my parents’ restaurant one day a week, I’ve only watched Netflix for hours at a time and hung out with my friends a couple of times a week. All of this free time is really starting to get to me, making me feel like my life is headed in no direction.

I’ve been questioning my major, my life decisions, and just life in general.

How do we know what we’re meant to do? What if we never end up doing it…?



I originally wrote this a couple of years ago when I was a junior in college. I found it again recently while I was looking through old word docs on my laptop, so I decided to edit it a bit and share. 🙂

My ears filled with the loud rustling of leaves from the tree I sat beneath. Occasionally the harsh winds ripped a red, orange, or yellow leaf from its branch, and it found its way into my lap. Attempting to keep warm with my hands stuffed deeply into the pockets of my favorite navy fleece jacket, I left them alone, untouched.

And when the next strong gust of wind blew, the leaves flew back into the air or the ground, mixing with the rest of the world. In their place sat new leaves or nothing at all.

As I sat at the bus stop and watched the leaves scamper in and out of my lap, I started feeling nostalgic and overwhelmingly sentimental and fought the urge to give myself a literal pat on the back when I made a metaphorical connection of how the people in our lives are exactly like those leaves, flying rapidly in and out — a constant change.

With every waking second another face, life, and story could become known or lost to us.

It’s funny how we can give our whole heart to someone for so many days, months, and even years, but after some seemingly melodramatic event, not give a damn about them anymore. We say we still care for the sake of not seeming like total assholes, but deep down our feelings are nonexistent. The people we once shared an emotional connection with are forgotten to us, and to them, we are nothing more than a mere memory hardly to be retrieved again.

But as humans, we yearn for more. We replace the old with the new: new people, new adventures, new memories. We search for others to fill up the emptiness inside of us left by the previous. We mentally and physically crave the feelings of being wanted and needed. And continuously, we search for those people until we finally find the ones who are worth fighting the wind for.

Life After Graduation

This past weekend, I reached a new milestone in my life: I attended my first college event as an alumnus.

I drove about an hour and a half to New Orleans last Saturday to watch my best friend be an emcee for Date Auction — a fundraising event held every year to raise money for a cause in Vietnam. Basically a total of six different colleges each individually come up with a video and dance and present three people to show off a talent and be auctioned off. This was my fourth consecutive year attending, and I was excited to see what my school had come up with. They did a great job, and really made me proud! After the event, I met up with my friends from my school and saw so many young faces that I didn’t know. That’s when it hit me.

Back when I was at the tender ages of 18, 19, 20, and even 21, I would stare at all the college graduates who attended football games, homecoming events, and other miscellaneous events at my university and wonder what on earth it feels like to be done with school and function in society as a proper adult. Dreadful thoughts would run through my mind, and I silently prayed that the day might not ever have to come for me — that I could live with my parents forever and eat all of their food and not pay rent.

But alas, life doesn’t always work out the way we would like. My college career is done. Over. Finished. And this past weekend, I realized that I am that same old person my younger self had always dreaded becoming: I pay rent and bills, and I cook. I work 40 hours a week. I take out the trash, clean my bathroom, do my own laundry. I do everything my parents did for me up until this summer, and though I can’t say that I don’t miss it (because boy, I really do sometimes), I’m happy and proud of where I am right now in my life.

To be honest, it’s not as scary or mortifying as I thought it would be. And as dependent as I was on my parents, I’ve learned that I AM capable of doing things for myself (although occasionally I need to ask for help opening jars, still working on those arm muscles). We all have to grow up sometime!


After the event! My ULL Ragin’ Cajuns and me (I’m in the white t-shirt) 🙂



5 Reasons Why You Should Embrace Being Single

We see vines, memes, and YouTube videos all over the Internet illustrating how sad or pathetic it feels to not be in a relationship. Movies, novels, and TV shows showcase romance and relationships, putting it way up high on a metaphorical, nonexistent pedestal, leaving all the single people reflecting on their own lives, wondering what they’re doing wrong and what they need to fix about themselves.

In reality, there is no reason for you to feel ashamed of being single (you know, even if it has been 3 years since you’ve had a boyfriend/girlfriend…). So maybe you aren’t as close to being married as your parents would like, you have to spend some Friday nights watching The Walking Dead on Netflix alone, and sometimes you have to tag along as the third wheel to your best friend and their significant other’s night. So what! Being single offers you a chance to explore not only yourself but the world and others around you. It’s liberating, exciting, and fun.

1. You have more time for YOU.

Because you’re spending so much more time alone, you have the potential to figure out your wants/needs/goals in life. What makes you happy? Who are you as an individual? What do you want out of life? Make everything about you! Do what YOU want.

Pull out the old journal you’ve only written in twice. Read the book you bought months ago and haven’t touched. Play a sport that leaves your out of shape butt breathless. Take a picture of something beautiful. Grow a plant in your backyard. Bake a cake for your grandmother. Rediscover what you forgot you loved.

2. You can flirt with whomever you want.

Being single means you can walk all the way across the bar and talk to the cute blonde who’s been giving you a few hundred subtle glances. It means you can look around and take notice of all the attractive people at a party and find which one will be your next victim, I mean, um, potential partner. It’s so much easier to meet new people, go on casual dates, and just hang out with members of the opposite (or same!) sex without feeling uncomfortable about getting “too close.”

3. You don’t have to share your food.

If you’re anything like me, food is one of the top priorities in your life: eating it, cooking it, fantasizing about it. Spaghetti, tacos, hamburgers, steak, fried chicken – these are all tremendously beautiful creations we were blessed with on Earth. Now, give me three good reasons why you would want to share your food with someone else, and don’t give me any of that “because I love them” crap. No. Even if I was dating someone and loved them enough to give them a bite of my Whopper, I would only be doing so out of guilt, not because I really wanted to. Yeah, the truth hurts.

4. You don’t have to attend your significant other’s family functions.

Being around the parents of the person you are dating is an all-around sweat-inducing, awkward situation. Trying to make small talk with your significant other’s grandma you are stuck on the couch with is boring. Constantly making sure you don’t let any sexual or potentially racist jokes slip out of your mouth is tiring. Without feeling obligated to spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend’s family, you are able to fully appreciate Uncle Larry’s drunken babblings at your family’s annual Christmas party.

5. I couldn’t come up with a fifth one… But five reasons sounds better than four, right?

I think I speak for the majority of us when I say we would all like to be in a great relationship someday, perhaps even marry and have kids, but self-discovery happens the most when you are in a relationship with yourself. Embrace your single-ness! Before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a committed relationship and you’ll have to actually share that large pepperoni pizza you ordered for yourself.


My Awkward Graduation Photos

I thought I’d share my extremely awkward graduation photos from May 2016. I didn’t really want to spend money on graduation photos (the cap, gown, and fee to graduate was already like $150), so I decided to take my own pictures on my handy dandy Macbook Pro. All photos were taken in my backyard as you can probably tell, and the dragon ball that I’m holding is my younger brother’s. I borrowed it without his permission. #rebel